New York-based DJ/producer Atish, like many artists across the world right now, is experiencing a lifetime first in navigating his return to performing for the public after nearly 15 months on pause due to the global pandemic. However, it is not the only new shift in his life, as just a few months ago he welcomed his first child to the family. Catching up with him this week, he shone a light on his pandemic experience, learning the ropes with parenting and seeking balance with a return to touring, including the return of his Atish All Night event in LA on July 10th.
We had a nice conversation with Atish to talk about his latest musical projects.
Electronic Groove: Hi Atish, thanks for joining us today!
Atish: Thanks for taking the time to interview me!
EG: You’ve just returned from San Francisco after a triple header at Public Works Park, your first shows back since the start of the pandemic. What was that occasion like?
Atish: Playing music in front of humans again was nourishing for my soul. When the pandemic started, it was really hard letting go of the idea that I wouldn’t be playing music in front of people any time again soon. Eventually, I just buried my hopes to be on stage again by distracting myself with new projects that were fulfilling in other ways. It even got to a point where it was too hard to look back on old clips and photos from gigs because I missed it so much.
There were points where I believed that I didn’t actually want to DJ again – perhaps it was a bit of changing life circumstances (having a baby in January reprioritized things) and sour grapes. But once the vaccines came out and gig opportunities came back, I was forced to reconcile with myself that I still want to do this, and frankly, that brought up more anxiety than excitement, mostly around questioning if I would still be good at what I do.
I powered through those feelings the weeks going into that SF weekend, holding onto the idea that I will probably have a good time. It’s always been pretty normal for me to have anxiety before gigs, and 9 times out of 10, the joyous payoff of performing greatly outweighed the uneasy anticipation. Despite the fact that this level of anxiety was an order of magnitude greater than any I had previously experienced, I desperately clung to the idea that it was simply part of a predictable pattern that I had trained myself to work through 12 years going into this.
Once I hit the decks at the first gig, there was a tricky calibration period for the first few tracks. But after settling in a groove, seeing the smiles, hearing the cheers, and watching dancers get locked in with their eyes closed felt extremely fulfilling. A certain part of me was reactivated and I felt alive in a new, but familiar way. I had a chat with my wife the morning after the first gig, and my eyes watered with joy recounting how the night went. Performing again was a powerful emotional release.
Beyond the act of DJing, these SF gigs just reminded me how much I love people and how the act of playing music is only part of what I love about the job. After each gig, people hung around afterward and I loved reconnecting with the music heads, making small talk, and even developing new friendships. I hadn’t done any of this during the pandemic as my family was locked down pretty tightly through the first 14 months of covid.
EG: How did the pandemic affect your creativity and well-being?
Atish: I wasn’t firing on all cylinders creatively, but I was happy overall. I put a large amount of pressure on myself to create masterpieces since I had never had this kind of free time at home. This ended up being counterproductive as I definitely made quite a bit of music, but I wouldn’t say much of it was great. That being said, Yokoo and I finished a collab EP which will come out on his new label Satya, which I’m very proud of.
Beyond the studio work, I found new projects to work on which were therapeutic. Outside of live-streaming, I launched a Youtube video series and launched a Patreon page, part of which includes an artist mentorship program which has been awesome. Even though I wasn’t moving forward with my own creativity at the rate I wanted, coaching other upcoming artists and helping them move forward scratched an itch I didn’t know I had. I derive so much joy from helping others succeed, and I’m humbled that my class of mentees put their faith in me to help them get there. Hits on that paternal instinct in many ways.
EG: What lessons did you take from the experience?
Atish: I learned how to surrender. Accept the reality of what is as opposed to getting frustrated over things not being the way I’d like things to be. Looking at setbacks as opportunities. Understanding that constraints can be my friend. Being comfortable with being flexible is one of the most important characteristics I’ve learned to survive this crazy world.
“Once I hit the decks at the first gig, there was a tricky calibration period for the first few tracks. But after settling in a groove, seeing the smiles, hearing the cheers, and watching dancers get locked in with their eyes closed
felt extremely fulfilling”
EG: The Atish TV live streams provided a respite from the Covid-19 madness and a slice of fun and entertainment for many fans during the last year. Was that a conscious decision?
Atish: It’s hard to say it was an intentional decision because there never was any deliberation as to whether or not I should do it. Selfishly, I was doing the streams for myself. I had gotten so attached to the idea that I must perform because I’m a performer, I couldn’t not stream. I also have a tendency to get excited by new shiny things to try out, so producing the streams with my wife Meetu was an exciting opportunity to learn.
Those first couple of months of streaming were pretty wild. Some streams had hundreds of thousands of views, people would send me videos of them (and their kids!) dancing along in their living rooms, and just seeing the words of support in the stream chats and private messages really put some well-needed wind in my sails.
While all this ego-stroking certainly felt great at the time, I’m only now really realizing how impactful the streaming was for others at home. A few people at the SF gigs came up to me thanking me for doing the streams since when the world was on fire, having me (and many other great live streamers) in their living room enabled them to hold onto some sense of normalcy and familiarity which was desperately needed. What I initially thought was simple self-indulgence transformed into the realization that our streams may have actually been important for those struggling through the pandemic.
EG: You became a father for the first time. How has it been balancing your career and rearing the little man?
Atish: It’s been really tough. My beautiful son Zian is now my #1 priority in the world. Making a career as a full-time electronic artist is more than a full-time job. Between gigging, keeping up with music, making mixes, producing music, running a label, social media, Patreon, and my artist mentorship program, it’s tough finding time for living life…and that’s without a baby in the house!
Then the baby comes in and just takes over your soul, and I mean that in the best possible way. Becoming a father is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve never experienced so much love in my life.
But all of sudden, I’m responsible for keeping this being alive, I’m responsible for supporting his mother, and all this other stuff in life that I’ve built over the last 12 years starts to feel overwhelming, stressful, and noisy – and that’s a mindfuck, borderline identity crisis. I’ve been cutting my workload, my touring calendar, and the expectations I set for myself in my career to try and be the best possible dad and husband I can be. But at the same time, I need to retain my individual identity and find fulfillment in the things that light my fire outside the family.
I haven’t yet cracked that code on that balance yet. It’s really hard. I hear it gets easier after the 1st year. Let’s check-in in 2022 and see if that’s true!
EG: How would you describe the challenge for touring artists that are also parents?
Atish: Last weekend was my first tour as a dad, and I’m already experiencing the new challenges in this next life chapter. I must say, I am so incredibly grateful that my wife Meetu has been supportive of me going on the road in SF and LA next week. While playing music again was indescribably beautiful, it was also taxing on the home front. I’m not there to change the diapers, feed the baby at 3 am, or even just hold Zian when Meetu needs to take a nap or shower. I’ve been wracked with crushing guilt questioning if I’m a negligent father or unsupportive husband, but again, she has been my rock through this, encouraging me to move forward. It’s also worth noting a baby doesn’t care how exhausted you are after coming home from a killer tripleheader weekend of gigs. He just wants to play, poop, and eat, at his convenience.
So that old adage of “it takes a village to raise a child” has started ringing true. We pulled in help from siblings, friends, grandparents, and extended family to help make it through my first tour, which I’m also grateful for. It still wasn’t easy, but it certainly made this weekend possible and reinforced how important both family and community are.
EG: Have you picked up any pieces of wisdom in that regard?
Atish: It’s a family decision, especially in the world of covid. Meetu and I were pretty good about having these conversations months before the baby was born, but we definitely make an effort to double down on inter-partner communication and make sure everyone is bought in. I can’t imagine what it would be like coming home to an energy-filled with resent. It’s hard enough as it is!
Initially, I was planning on taking 2 months off from gigging after having a baby, but the gig drought during the pandemic extended that to over 5 months. I’m glad it worked out that way because those months at home were the most precious moments I’ve ever had. The wisdom from this experience is to take as much time off work as you can afford during those early months as a new parent. My bond with my son is incredibly strong right now, and I’m not sure if it would be this way if I was traveling most weekends…so…thanks, covid?
EG: Atish, All Night Los Angeles returns on July 10th, what can people expect from this novel experience?
Since vaccines haven’t been approved for babies, we have an immunocompromised family member at home. As a result, I’m only taking outdoor gigs, so I’ve moved Atish All Night LA to a beautiful open-air ranch just outside the city. Turns out that this is a much bigger undertaking than a normal warehouse party, so the party concept is kind of transforming into a mini-festival in its scope of production, which is really exciting.
The fundamentals remain the same as I’ll play open to close, but there will be a few more bells and whistles to complete the experience. Plus, I’ve always strongly preferred outdoor gigs to indoor ones, so I feel like this pandemic has accelerated some of my dreams to fruition.
EG: LA is a city that has become enamoured with the Atish sound. How did that relationship come about?
Atish: My earliest plays in LA were for Ben Annand’s Tropical and the Dialogue party series. These were some really great underground gigs that built a strong foundation in the LA scene for me. In 2015, I was blessed with a killer time slot at Cityfox’s LA event, and that blew the doors open. Fast forward to 2017, I tried my hand at my first Atish All Night in LA at a small warehouse, and I’ve continued producing that event yearly with my on-the-ground co-producer Eddie Vela. We had intentionally kept the venue size smaller than the demand warranted for all our events. This resulted in building a nice buzz around town, but more importantly, they ensured that all the right people were attending since the events sold out months in advance making for a perfect vibe. It’s been a really special journey in LA, and every time I come back, I’m grateful to feel so much love and support for the music.
“I’ve moved Atish All Night LA to a beautiful open-air
ranch just outside the city”
EG: How do you foresee the dance industry changing in the long term due to Covid?
Atish: It’s really tough to say. I think Covid-19 may have renaissance-level effects on the art world, but we’re just only seeing the first glimpses on how that will manifest (outside Tik Tok). I think in the short term, we’ll see crowds just going hard at parties as an emotional release from being pent up for so long. Consequently, we’ll probably hear DJs playing more driving dancier music to keep up. To be honest, I hope it doesn’t swing too far in that direction, since I love going super deep in my sets, but I just see this as an exciting challenge to time my peaks and valleys just right.
Beyond that, I think with different countries around the world having different restrictions and risks, many promoters will spend more time looking inward for domestic talent rather than pulling in the international headliners. For one, I’ve heard this has developed the Australian local DJ scene greatly. I think this is a net positive for the dance music scene as a whole as it will build a stronger sense of community within, and as a result, that may harbor more niche and specialized genres by region – kind of the inverse of globalization.
EG: What are you most excited about the coming months?
Atish: As mentioned, Yokoo and I have our collab EP coming out on Satya, which I think is quite special. Beyond that, after Cityfox NYC this weekend and Atish All Night LA on July 10th, I’m taking off another couple of months from gigging and hopefully finishing a bunch of solo work that I started before Zian was born. But more importantly, I’m just going to play with this cute kid as much as I possibly can!
For more info, go to atishmusic.com/tickets
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